The past few days I've been feeling sorry for myself. It seems like every time I get over one obstacle and start doing well - living independently, cruising - another obstacle appears in my path. Yesterday, I spent most of the day asking God why this keeps occurring. I went to church last night, mind and heart open to whatever answer God had for me. The message was (of course) completely about my situation. Funny how that always seems to happen. The message was about praising God and speaking life even in the midst of the darkness. The pastor finished the sermon with a somewhat cheesy, but memorable, one-liner - "Don't let the devil get you down. Get your hands up." Even if you are completely blinded by the darkness, like you're stuck in a cave, God calls us to make light with our voice. Make light with our actions.
I slept on this message and woke up with a new spirit and a new discovery about my spiritual life. As I mentioned earlier, before meeting my latest obstacle, I was cruising. Independent. I was doing well.
Then it hit me.
Who am I to ask God why if the only time I come running to Him is when tragedy strikes? Who am I to question His motives if I am only dependent on Him is when I need His umbrella? If you had asked me yesterday, I would've told you that I thought God was punishing me for being distant, for traveling on Sundays, for neglecting Him. Today, I realize it's just the opposite. God wants me. He wants a relationship with me even when I don't give Him the time of day. EVEN when I question Him. If momentary pain will draw me near and deepen my faith, then isn't He doing me a favor?
"God is more interested in developing you than making you happy."
"God is more interested in your character than your comfort."
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